As the day draws closer

I am scared.

Monday... the dreaded day. Miss Spitfire's follow up to see what we should do next. As I sit here typing away my stomach is in knots!

This is something that never leaves my mind. I am always thinking about it, always asking God to carry my fears for me, always asking God to help me see the Glory in all of this. He knows I am trying to give him all of the control of my life and my family, but he also knows I play this tug of war game daily. I hate that I do this, I want to give it all to him and I just can't? What is stopping me from this? The answer is...ME! I want the control over my children and in reality they are his, not mine! He has known I would struggle with this, he has known my daughter would be sick long before I ever had her. Although I struggle and I am sinning by doing this... I have faith in him and his plan!

I would like to ad and thank my dearest friend ( you know who you are) for being there for me during all of this. Thank you for caring and offering all of your kind words and your time. You have helped me through this awful waiting period more than you know. You have turned my frown upside down many of times in the past week or so. You are very loved by myself and my family and to you I give thanks!

I ask all of you to please continue to pray for my baby girl!