My new role

I am officially now a working Mom! I haven't really been able to say that in a really long time. I have been a stay at home Mom for what feels like an eternity and I loved-love it! I am currently only working nights, but it honestly feels weird.

It is a weird that no one can understand unless you have stayed at home with kids for years. I kind of hate to admit it, but I am loving my new job! I am working as a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory and to some that is a belittling job... to me it is perfect! Yes I would love to make the money of a lawyer or a nurse, but for me this job is exactly what I needed! I love interacting with other people, helping people, having such a flexible schedule that allows me to spend my everyday still at home with all 4 of my babies and work at night! The other half of my weird feeling is, I don't get to tuck my kids into bed every night. This is something I totally took for granted when I did it every night, heck sometimes I complained about it. It would be yelling "I don't want to go to bed", me waiting on each kid to hug and kiss miss Sunshine while I found her baby and blankie, making sure they were all in bed, covered up, hugged and kissed, this light on and this light off. Sometimes it would take 20 minutes or so. Now that I am not here most nights to do this, I miss it and feel bad for complaining about it or asking J to do it!

I realize with this new job how much of a difference it does and will make for my family! Of course it has it pro's and con's, but both big differences! I like having the adult conversations, I like making money, I don't like that I hardly see J on days that I work, I don't like that my kids whine when I tell them I have to work, I don't like seeing their sad faces when I leave, I don't like not being the last face they see when they go to sleep, but I know this is what needs to happen for my family!

This job has in a way really opened my eyes to how important my family is to me. Please don't misunderstand that, they were and always will be my number one priority. It just makes me see how blessed I am and how I want to do nothing, but make them all happy... especially J. I feel overjoyed that I have them and I know when I get off of work they will all be here ( asleep, but still here)! They love me and I love them! Family is so important and without each one of them I would be lost. They all have my heart and even when I am running crazy at work to serve other families and to make sure they are enjoying their evening... my family is always on my mind :) My time with them is way more valued and cherished! This job so far is such a blessing and I just hope it continues to go so well and remains beneficial!

Did I mention their Cheesecake is phenomenal?!

Well it is :)

Wild Man's Birth Story

Wild Man was welcomed into our family on May 25, 2006! Buddy I am so sorry this did not get posted on your actual birthday :(

May 21st I went into my OB for my check up and she informed me I was dilated to 3cm. I was ecstatic!!! However I was only 34weeks and 6 days along. Hang on...let me back up for just a second, Wild Man was a baby we tried very hard to conceive. I desperately wanted a boy sooooo bad. That is the only reason I couldn't say no to more babies after Miss Spitfire. I wanted him so much and the day I found out I was having a boy, I balled during the whole ultrasound. When she said I was having a boy she had to give me Kleenex's due to the snot and tears that were combining all over my face, LOL!!!! So needless to say I was more than anxious to meet him.

Back to my OB appointment ( sorry I get off track very easily). She also mentioned to me that she was going on vacation that Friday for 2 weeks. She offered me the choice of coming into the hospital Thursday morning to see how my contractions were coming along and if I could be induced she would induce me or I could just go on and risk her being on vacation if I delivered. I don't have a history at all of my kids coming early ( I had been induced with both my girls)! So without thinking of my beautiful boy, my selfish instincts of course chose Thursday May 25th to possibly be induced.

My Momma of course kept my girls for us. We went to the hospital and I was contracting but not having strong ones. They were very consistent, but not strong. J and I walked the halls for what felt like forever to get things moving along. It worked a little... my next check I was dilated to a 4, so she decided to break my water and admit me. J and I were so excited. I called J's mom and my Mom to let them know we were staying. I was then taken to the only room that was left... the C-section room. I was then hooked up to pitocin and things were trucking along. My nurse was great, my needs were met, I had an epidural put in around 6cm and J's Mom came to be with us, things were wonderful!!!!

About 8pm we realized my monitor was going off, the nurse came in calmly and asked me to roll over and put a pillow under my belly. She said it happens all of the time and rolling over helps the baby! The monitor was the baby's heart beat, it was very low :( I of course rolled over, but sadly the monitor wouldn't stop going off. She had me roll over to the other side, didn't work. She went and got some belly band to help push him down or something along those lines ( to be honest at this point I was a little frantic so I am not sure at all what the belly band was for)! I asked her to please get my doctor and she did. My doctor was in there within 2 minutes and she immediately said we need to get him out and we need to get him out NOW by C-section. I was balling and so scared. Scared for my baby, scared to have a C-section and scared of the unknown. I had 2 minutes for them to prep things so I called my mom to let her know and before I hung up they were wheeling me back.

They got me all ready and then J was brought in. I was shaking so bad I bit my tongue a couple of times. I had serious trimmers and was very nauseous. It was not a fun delivery at all. She had him out within 5 minutes after J was brought in. I sadly don't remember the exact minutes he was born ( I have this in his baby book I promise) but I know it was in the 9 o'clock hour ( pm). He was out and he was screaming, I had never been so relieved in my life to hear that loud shriek of a cry. All I kept saying was how little he was and how much he looked just like my girls. After I knew he was ok and I could talk again from crying so much, I asked if she knew what the problem was and he had the cord wrapped around his neck 2X's. Thank the Lord he never had to go to the NICU at all... he weighed 6lbs 9oz and was 18 in long and was healthy! He had the dark black hair and olive tan skin just like my girls! He was beautiful, too pretty to be a boy :)

To this day I find myself wondering, if the cord was due to my induction or if the induction was a blessing that saved his life! I will never know, but I will always question it.

I was so proud and so excited we had our boy. He was healthy, he was eating, peeing and pooing like he was supposed to. He never cried while in the hospital, so I thought he was completely perfect! Then we got home... he cried 24/7. Nothing I ever did helped him at all. He took almost an hour to drink every bottle and he ate every 2 hours. This every 2 hour feeding lasted throughout the day and night until he was 12 months. The DAY of his 1st birthday he slept through the night! I was the most tired and drained Momma out there for a YEAR! So just incase you couldn't figure it out...he was a HORRIBLE baby, but such a fun and hyper toddler. This past year has been the best year with him. When he turned 3 he became less defiant, a little more hyper, but not in the crazy way he was before, it was great! He is wonderful :)

To my handsome boy, I love you sooooooooo much! I wanted you more than you will ever know. You will always hold a special place in my heart. You keep me on my toes, but you always keep me laughing. I enjoy our late night snuggles and hugs and hope they never end! I love you with all of my heart and I am enjoying every minute of watching you grow up... yes even the ugly days! You make my heart smile and I can't wait to be there for every fun milestone you will soon start to hit! I love you my handsome buddy. Happy Belated Birthday ( still so sorry this was not done on your day)! Love, Mommy
XOXOXO

4 today

WOW... today my Wild Man is 4!!! I can not believe he is 4 already. He has grown into this adorable and hilarious little man!
He is ALL boy, he loves sports, trucks, cars, dirt, rocks, wrestling and of course video games! Is favorite thing in the whole world right now is cereal, LOL! He has to have it everyday as soon as he opens his eyes. When I come home from the store and I buy new cereal, it is honestly the same reaction we get on Christmas morning! So funny, but yet so cute!
He is so full of personality and humor. He keeps us all laughing daily. He makes us laugh just from watching him play and he has no idea we are watching him. Then there are times he is trying and will continue to try until he hears a chuckle :)
This past year has really been a fun one. Watching him grow into the little guy he is, has been great! He is so loving, sweet, funny, skinny and smart! He is my buddy and I am so blessed to have him. He makes me smile!
Happy Birthday my Handsome Boy! I love you sooo soooo soooooo much :)

His birth story is to come sometime later today, just as I did for my girls!

A new role for me

I will be working... for the first time in a very long time! I will be starting a new part time evening job starting on Sunday!

J has always been the one to work while I stayed home with the kids. He has always worked multiple jobs for this to happen!! Somethings have changed in our financial status and J is now just working one job, so this is why I will be working. He wants a break from work and I think I want to take a break from being home with the kids 24/7!!! Still not really sure how I feel about it to be quite honest.

I am really excited to take on this challenge. It is a challenge for me to give up being home, physically going to work, doing well on the job, missing family functions, missing my kids' sport activities... missing a lot! It will be a challenge for both J and I. I don't think he really knows how challenging it can be to have to run this kid here, be back to pick that kid up from there, meet so and so here and so on, all by myself! I also don't know what it feels like to hear him call me while I am at work to tell me how crazy and stressful the kids are being, him telling me how well Miss Spitfire did at her game or to tell me what cook-out they have planned to go to on that day. I have no idea...

So as we embark on this new journey with our new roles, I only hope it is a great transition for our kids and makes a difference for our family. I am staying super positive about it all, it just makes me a little nervous with each passing day. Hopefully the nerves will subside and I will just be happy to get out and be a financial contributor to my family :)

Please keep us in your prayers for the weeks to come as we make the transition and that this new role is really better for all of us!!

Mother's Day

Today is a day to recognize my MOM!!! I have a previous post on just how wonderful my Mom is! Well if you have read it, you know my Mom is the best... I think so anyway ( maybe I am a little bias, lol)

To me the definition of a good Mom is,

A woman who shows love unconditionally! A woman who is always there no matter the circumstance! A woman you can trust! A woman who would give up her life for her child! A woman who shows respect and compassion! A woman who strives for her child to reach excellence. A woman who knows what she is talking about, even if it doesn't really seem like it at the time... in the end we all know she did! A woman who wants nothing but the best for her child. A woman who will sacrifice everything for the well bring of her child. A woman who can be sneezed, puked and pooped on and still smile! A woman who shows her child how to love and be respectful. A woman who instills their child with values and morals. A woman who teaches their child responsibility. A woman who teaches their child to treat everyone else how they would want to be treated. A woman who is involved in their child's life ( goes to school functions, sports activities, has play dates, knows their child's friends, etc.)! A woman that no other person could ever replace...

This is the definition of my Mom! I could go on, but I think you get the point :) I hope my children think this of me when they are older. I hope to be the great Mom my mom is! Although a child and a mother's relationship can sometimes be very challenging, it is none the less the best relationship to have. No one could ever replace my Mom or even come close to the woman I think she is!

Mom, I love you and hope your Mother's Day is wonderful! I hope your day is filled with love and laughs!

A new kind of sexiness

You know when I first started dating J, I was drawn to him and his sexiness, lol :) I hope this word doesn't offend anyone! Anyway, I was all about him! I loved his look, his attitude, the way he loved me... it was all sexy to me!

As we have gotten older and had a handful of babies the sexiness hasn't really gone away... it is just seen differently! I still think he is sexy and I still LOVE the way he loves me.

Today I had a house to clean. He was left with younger two babies while the older girls were in school. This is how it works every time I have to go clean. It was a beautiful day out, I had a very nice worship moment on the ride home ( listening to Klove of course)! I just had this wonderful sense of peace about my life. At this time in our lives things are changing, people I love are sick, J has had some work issues and now for the first time I really need to get a part time job. So peace about all of this seemed so far away, today it wasn't! I felt it, it was so rejuvenating :) I realized how much of struggle we will soon face, but I didn't care at all. We have each other and that is all that mattered today. The man I fell in love with, the man I feel is the same sexy man I met is still in love with me and loves our family!

On my way home I pulled down our street to see the most wonderful sight, my wonderful husband outside playing ball and riding bikes with the two babies. Seeing the father of your children playing with them is the most wonderful feeling in my opinion. I must say this happens all of the time ( playing with the kids) he always plays, it just usually isn't outside unless I am home! I immediately walked up to him and gave him a huge hug and told him how sexy he looked! They had been out for awhile so we rounded the kids up and went in to make lunch! I walked in and he cleaned the front room, kitchen and our room! Cleaned, vacuumed, wiped down, dishes done, trash out, toys up... CLEAN!!!! It was so refreshing to see a clean house after I just returned from cleaning someone else's house :) He is amazing and still has my heart!

Today was just a great day for us, we also took the kids to Dairy Queen for ice cream. We came home and he helped me with bath time and helped me prepare breakfast for the kids in the morning... he fried their bacon so I could sleep in an extra 30 minutes! Ahhhh the love I have for him! I am truly lucky to have him and I don't just say this because of today, but because of every day! He is my rock, my shoulder, my support, my HEART!!!! I am so blessed and thankful for him and our family :)

This day 9 years ago

Today was a fabulous day for my Angel and I! Today is her actual birthday and like I said in my previous post... she opted not to have a party! She and I went shopping and then I took her and my nephew to Snapperz for a night of fun :) It was really a great day with her!

On this day 9 years ago my Angel made us a family! At the ripe old age of 18 I had the best blessing any woman could ask for... a healthy and beautiful baby girl! I had a very easy pregnancy with her. I did however have the first pregnancy thought, if I eat it and gain it, it will fall off when I have her! Boy was I mistaken, LOL!!!! I gained a healthy (almost) 80lbs, thanks to my late night Taco Bell cravings! I really wish someone would have warned me of this, but you live and learn I guess!

My due date with her was April 26th, 2001. Well that day came and gone and still no baby. J had orders to leave for Germany the 1st week in May with his National Guard unit, so I was worried! I asked my doctor if she would induce me so he would be able to be here for her birth and be able to spend some time with us before he left. I had to take a stress test first. The test went well so doc said I could come in Monday April 30th at 7 am to have her. I was thrilled!

My mom met us at the hospital that day. She was there the entire time with us, it was lovely! I had my pitocin put in at 8 am, so we were ready roll... except it didn't roll as fast as I was hoping! I remember having a lot of hard contraction after the doctor broke my water, so I of course called in for the drugs! They gave me an awful shot at first to see if it would just take the edge off. It did not do what they wanted it to at all, it made me feel very sick and dizzy. I hated the feeling so much I cried. No it wasn't a hysterical cry, but tears running down my cheek kind of cry. Finally after 2pm I had the wonderful epidural put in!

My mom and J played a little cards, watched some TV and I believe J took a little nap on the couch provided! I was bored and in no pain! During this time we had a few visitors to say hello and see how we were doing! I enjoyed the visits, it was a lot of J's family... his aunt and a few cousins. My step-dad and my brother came to say hi and hang out as well.

Well finally at around 9:30pm I was feeling pain again, I was actually happy to be feeling it cause it had to mean things were moving along right?! YES they were, she was ready to meet us! 10pm I was pushing! My mom and I were really hoping for an April baby, so I was trying so hard to deliver her before midnight! Of course that didn't happen, I pushed for over 2 hours. At 12:20am ( May 1st) I heard the most wonderful sound any parent can hear, my beautiful baby crying! She was perfect, 7lbs 12oz and 21 in long. She had the olive tanish skin with a head full of black hair. I was in awe of her. Everyone but the doctor was in tears my mom, J, me and my nurse! My mom so patiently waited to hold her, but all she kept asking was how I was doing. I was on top of the world... cloud 9 to be exact! I had never felt the joy and happiness that I was feeling. Most people don't know that feeling until they have experienced having a baby, it is the best!

After she was all cleaned, checked and healthy we had a few more visitors that night, it was like 1:30 in the morning! I didn't care at all, I was not one bit tired. I was so hyper and just ready to be a mom. I will never forget the moment when they laid her in the warmer beside my bed after everyone was gone and all I could do was stare at her. She was mine, J and I made her, she is perfect! I couldn't stop taking pictures of her either, I think I had like 15 of her in the exact same position in the warmer :)

Like I said I was only 18 when I had her, but I couldn't have been happier! I had to grow up quicker than my friends, but I didn't care! She was my everything and I was going to give anything and everything up for her. From the second she was born I couldn't remember my life before her. How did I live 18 years without her, cause I definitely couldn't live another second without her!

My Angel was a very difficult baby though, she was colic and cried ALL of the time! As soon as she turned 1 year, she was an angel. She has always been such a great kid! I couldn't ask for anything better than what she is!!! Today I had the day with just her and it was honestly just as fun as going out with my friends. We were picking out clothes, laughing, dancing and singing in the car... it was great!

My beautiful Angel you have been such a blessing these past 9 years. You are a remarkable child with a heart of gold. You make me so proud and I hope you know I love you to the moon and back! I have enjoyed every minute of watching you grow up and I know the years to come will be just as great! Happy Birthday beautiful girl :)