America's Greatest Past Time

That's right people... it is BASEBALL and SOFTBALL season!!!!

This is last years photos, but you get the idea! Miss Spitfire ( holding the banner in the pink jacket) will be playing her 2nd year in softball and Wild Man will be playing his first year in Baseball!

Yes he was wearing snow boots with his Baseball gear last year LOL, but this year he is in tune with the appropriate gear, hehe! He has had 2 practices so far and he LOVES it! He is into batting, fielding and running the bases! I was super nervous about him playing this year, only because he is so young ( he will be 4 in May)! He is listening to the Coach ( my wonderful brother in law) and is enjoying being around all boys! We do have 2 girls on the team, but he doesn't mind them at all, he is too busy with practicing to pay attention to the girls :) So far it's going well!

This will be our first year in 3 years of baseball/softball season that I will have 2 kids in 2 different townships playing though. I am a little worried about missing someone's practice or game, but I know it will have to happen a couple of times. It's not that they will be left there without a parent or grandparent ( someone will always be there), it's the fact I don't ever remember a time when my Mom wasn't at one of my sports functions and I want my kids to have the same memory with me. I know whatever game or practice I happen to miss, will be the one where they do something fantastic and I will feel sad for missing their big moment! So with the excitement that the seasons have started I am just a little worried about being in 2 places at once! It will work out though, I know it will!

Yay, for spring! Yay, for ball!! Yay, for making new friends!!! Yay, for making new memories!!!! I can't wait for opening days! PLAY BALL...

What is happening

I can't begin to tell you how incredibly sad and scared I am with the new Health Care Bill that passed tonight. I will say what a sad day in America it has become. We no longer live by the words, for the people, by the people... we now live by what the Government tells us. What is happening to America?! Why in the world would these democrats feel that this is good for us? I could get into the facts, but why even bother!

I will just say I have 4 wonderful and beautiful children. One of which requires more medical attention than the others, as most of you already know. My beautiful daughter (Spitfire) has Crohn's and what comes with this disease is MANY doctor appointments and daily medications until they find a cure! With this new bill, we may not be able to see our doctor that we have grown to love, but better yet one that Gov't tells us to go see. If they don't find it to be important or an emergency she also may not get her daily meds. They will also raise the prices of her medications, that I have to tell you already cost a fortune ( we buy these monthly)! Miss Spitfire also needs her tonsils out very badly, if this is signed by our "not so wonderful President" before we get this scheduled, they may not see the need for this to be done right away. I am just so sad.

I am so ready for the next election to happen. I am so nervous for what our future holds with Obama in the President's chair. He makes me quezzy sometimes, I have no idea why I get that feeling but I do and I don't like it. I know we are supposed to support our President, but I don't feel like he has us average Joe's in mind in his desicion making. Therefore I can't support a President who doesn't support us.

I am so ready for the Lord to come. I am ready to take my family home... to a place that niether you or I can possibly imagine what he has waiting for us. I am ready to witness the awe, ready to witness my daughter feeling healthy everyday, to never ever need a doctor, for my children, J and I to never shed another tear, to always be smiling, to share the joy in life at all times and best of all ...to walk next to my Savior, my God, OUR KING!
Lord I pray, Please come QUICKLY!!!!!

My baby's birth story

My baby girl's due date was March 18th. On this day 2 years ago she graced us with her presence :)

My entire pregnancy with her I had a bleed in my placenta, so I was high risk the entire time. Which was scary at first, but she was a fighter and I did all I could to keep her healthy! I had went into labor at 30 weeks so I went to the hospital and my doctor was able to stop her from coming. I was terrified, but so happy she decided to stay put!

I had many doctors appointments and ultra sounds following, which was always nice to see her and make sure she was growing and healthy. At 38 weeks I had went into labor again, this time I was thrilled! I knew we had made it to the safe point so I called my Mom ( J was at work). She came over and brought my beautiful Granni. My Mom helped me get the older kids ready for bed and helped me pack my bag. My Granni stayed home with the older kids and Mom took me to the Hospital. I called J on the way and as soon as I got there. He didn't want to leave work if it wasn't true labor. So the doctor hooked me up to machines and said your contracting great, but we are going to stop it and see if she will hold off until your due date. I was so disappointed, but knew it wasn't meant to be with J being at work, my in laws weren't available to come up and my 78 year old Granni was with the kids! So we went home :(

I had a doctors appointment that following week and she scheduled an induction on March 18th! I had never had one of my babies on my actual due date, so that was kind of cool! I planned for my wonderful sister in law to skip school and sit at home with the kids that day. Well it was really just Wild Man cause the girls were in school. J, my mom and J's parents were there all morning with me, we had to be there at 7am. I had the pitocin in by 8am and things were moving along nicely. Later in the afternoon my sister in law showed up to hang out with us as well. It was a really nice time chatting and laughing with everyone while I labored.

Finally the contractions were more than I could take and I am all about an epidural so we called in the anesthesiologist! She was wonderful and had me hooked up quickly. The sad thing is it was about 12:30pm and it wasn't working. I could barely talk or move the contractions were so bad. They were coming so quick, one right after another and they lasted for what felt like forever. So I called in the so called " magic woman" again and she was arguing with me about the epidural working. Finally I told her I can't handle it and she needed to either put more meds in or re-do it cause I was miserable. So she just added more meds in, which didn't help at the time at all!
Wonderful Dr. Davidson came in to check me and said well they hurt so much because her head is right there and you are more than ready to push! My Mom, J and J's Mom stayed in the room while my father in law and sister in law went in the waiting room! Dr. Davidson got already (she did this super fast) and all of a sudden my epidural kicked in and I couldn't feel to push.

It was not a good feeling to be popping all the blood vessels in my face trying to push and she said I wasn't pushing correctly. So we waited a few minutes for "crazy magic lady" to come back in and turn the epidural off! It never helped, but I wanted to see my baby, so I gave it all I had... 3 hard pushes, a vacuum and wallah... she was laying on my stomach!

She was beautiful, she looked so chubby and so colored. She had perfect skin, but a huge cone head :( All of my babies look Indian when they come out, tons of black hair and tan skin! She cried and cried. The nurses did everything in the room, so she never left my room our entire hospital stay. I loved that about that hospital. She was a whopping 8lbs 6oz 19in. long!!! She completed our family at 2:20pm

Our whole family and all of our friends came to the hospital to welcome her! I finally had the feeling of being complete after she was born. I had never experienced this feeling after the births of my other children and that is why I never did anything permanent! 6 weeks after my beautiful baby was born I had a tubal! So we won't be having anymore babies, but I am thrilled to watch them grow and see who they all will become.

Baby girl, Happy Birthday! I love you so much, you are such a beautiful little girl who I love with all of my heart and soul! God made you perfect and knew you would be the perfect child to complete our family!

2 in 2 days

She knows her Birthday is coming, She keeps saying " my Bersday"! She also keeps asking for presents!!! ( sorry for the blurry pic, but I couldn't resist that awesome smile :)
She talks in sentences and will laugh at herself often, just like her mother, LOL!!!
She is off the bottle and totally interested in going to the big girl potty, but gets scared of the toilet! She will sometimes drink out of a big kid cup without the lid and she hardly spills any of it!
She is no longer in a high chair. She would much rather sit at the table like a big girl with the big kids. She can dress and undress herself, she even picks out what she wants to wear ( most of the time she doesn't get to wear it though... usually a jammie shirt and some weird pants with 2 different shoes, LOL)!
My baby is all grown up and in 2 days she will be 2 years old! She will no longer be a baby, but in our house will always be called the baby! I think this year is going to be a very fun year with her, although 2's in my house are typically wild :)

Growing Old

Today at church I realized I always sit behind the same couple. They seem so sweet and cute! They are an older couple, probably in their late 50's early 60's! Today during worship I really noticed them, they were praising and singing next to each other and although they never touched...I could sense their love for one another and their love for God! It was so touching and refreshing to see.

I come from a "broken home" ( although I absolutely hate that term, my home was not broken at all, my Dad and Mom just didn't stay married). I know so many people my age who come from divorced parents and who are divorced themselves. I want to say I think that their is absolutely nothing wrong with divorce, no one should live an unhappy life. With that said, I love to see old couples still together, married for 50+years, have kids and grandbabies! I hope to someday say J and I have been married for that long! I also hope to grow close to God as a married couple.

I know my personal relationship with God has grown and is so wonderful right now and I still have so much growing left to do! I just would like for us as a married couple to be able to study the Bible together,worship together, have versus to remember each week, possibly attend the couples retreat that is often offered at most churches and most definitely be able to attend church service together. J loves our Savior and has his own relationship with him. Although we don't talk about it a lot I think he knows more about scripture and the life of a Christian more than I do. So I want everyone to know he is a son of God and knows what it takes to walk with God! We sadly can't attend church service as a family due to J's work schedule. He works every single Sunday. He is always great about asking how it went as soon as I load the kids in the van when service is over and I usually tell him what the message was about. I know he wants to go and be with us in the house of the Lord, learning, praising and worshiping! I also know the Lord knows this as well. He knows I long for my family to be a family at church and he knows J wants to be there.

Back to my cute little couple, I found myself watching them all morning. I heard the message and I worshiped with all of my heart, but found myself watching them time and time again. How long have they been married? How did they get to the point of where they are as a couple with God? I kept saying to myself I bet there kids are here somewhere with their grandbabies in the nursery! I found myself wanting to be them in 35-40 years!

Every marriage has it's ups and downs! Every marriage has it's challenges and obsticles to overcome. J and I have had a sometimes bumpy road in the last 14 years we have been together, but today we are wonderful :) He warms my heart, puts a smile on my face, provides for our family and most of loves me for me and I know in my heart he truly loves me. That is such a wonderful feeling :) I know whatever turmoil comes our way we will overcome it and be together forever. We will be that old couple rocking in our rocking chairs on the porch watching the sun come up, lol...ok maybe not watching the sun come up, but you get what I am saying!!! We will grow old together and I know it. We have a love that is stronger than us, if that makes any sense to you! He is my rock and I like to believe I am his as well.

So to all of you out there who are still married to your first love, I toast to you...to another 50+ happy years together!

J, through the good, bad and ugly I love you with all of my heart!

9 days

My beautiful
sweet baby
girl will be
2 years old!

These past 2 years have flown by. Sunshine you have grown into quite the spunky little pistol that you are! You are beautiful with a very sassy attitude! I wish you the happiest birthday week! It makes me sad to think this is the last 2nd birthday we will celebrate in our family, time is flying by while my kiddos are growing up. I enjoy every day of it though, even the rough ones! Sunshine you keep me on my toes but you always put a smile on my face! I love you so very much!

You've Got Mail

Is my absolute favorite movie! I can sit and watch that movie over and over and cry every time I watch it!

I am not sure why I like it so much, but I do know I love the love in this love story! (Did I say the word Love enough in that sentence, LOL) It is not just the obvious love story, but I love the character of Kathleen Kelly. The love she has for her work, for her city, for her in box that says "You've Got Mail", for the hopes of finding love and most of all the love she has for her mother! Ahh this movie is so wonderful.

I enjoy all the songs that are in this movie, it makes me dance a little with every one that starts. I find myself wishing I had the outlook on life that Kathleen portrays. I want to someday think my kids will love me like she loves her mother. Her mother created amazing memories for her, which you know is how I live my life ( making memories for my kids)! I enjoy watching her and the way she loves and lives for her adorable little book store. I would love to have a job that will affect and shape the children of our future. To be that person who loves the city I live in, as if the thought of living anywhere else is not even in the realm of possibilities! I love the city I live in, but I love it because my family is here. I love that I have childhood memories here. I do not love it just because I think it is magical and wonderful.

Ahhh the way this movie makes me feel. I finish watching this movie with the most upbeat feeling and positive attitude. I always finish it wanting to go out and buy a bouquet of white daisies and a box of Kleenex!

There is no point what so ever about this post, besides the fact I am watching this movie and wanted to share my love for it! "Kathleen Kelly" such a wonderful character!

Stop kidding yourself

Well it has been a rough couple of weeks here at my house with all of the sickies! It started with Spitfire, she had a fever, headache, sore throat and ears. I took her to the doctor and they gave her an antibiotic. It went away for a week and then came back, so we did the same thing again meds and it was gone. Then I got really sick with all of the same symptoms but knew I had Strep and a sinus infection, I was down and out for 3 days solid. My meds made me feel better and I was back on my feet and feeling great! Now Spitfire is sick again!

I now know with her and her Crohn's, her sinus' will act up causing all of her pain and antibiotics is not the answer, they don't help! I had no idea about any of this. I was getting so frustrated with her pediatrician and in fact it wasn't her fault at all, just Crohn's!

I keep getting asked how I stay so up-beat and positive with all of this and all of her symptoms and problems. My answer is always the same, if I don't say strong and positive... she won't either. If I don't stay positive all of the thoughts and sadness can and will take over and I will be useless to her and my family. I always feel a negative person is a sad person and they typically annoy me. Why be negative all of the time, that logic can't make life very fun! So I refuse to be that person and I refuse to let this disease win and control our lives. Yes it will control my Spitfire's life to a degree, but I hope not on her outlook on life!

I am not trying to kid myself here though, I am being honest when I say... I have meltdowns! Not uncontrolable crying ( well sometimes tears), but mental meltdowns. I get sad and question everything I do and say. I question the doctors, I question what should I or could I have done. I feel so bad and sad for her, it sometimes gets a little overwhelming. I am not a rock of stone with no feeling or emotions about this. I just try to conceal my feelings and thoughts for her and my family. I feel it is my duty to be the strong one and sometimes that alone can be overwhelming if I feel like I have let them see me upset or when I talk about it out loud for her and them to hear!

I do know that I have not and will never question why. I don't know why, but I know God knows why and that is answer enough for me! I will continue to lean on him during all of this and after this! He is seeing me through this and for him I am grateful and give him praise! He is the rock in all of this who I know I can stand on when I need to! I give him all of the glory in this and that helps me put a smile on face after I get or hear bad news or when Spitfire is down and not feeling well. God is working miracles in my life and even if I haven't seen them yet, I trust in him enough to know he is!

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to have a child who is ill all of the time and their is not a thing you can do for them to make them feel better. I am a mother praying and begging for everyone to help spread the word about this disease and to beg everyone who reads this to join me at The Fundraiser, Dinner Dance for Straton's Team on April 24th, 2010! Please if you are interested in coming email me at amberm11283@yahoo.com! If you want to help but can't make the event feel free to make a donation to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation by going to www.cctakesteps.org and search for Straton's Team and make a donation for our team!